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It hurts, but then it gets better.

I live in Philadelphia.  My family lives in Israel, five thousand seven hundred forty, (5,740), miles away. 

It's not just the distance, its all that we miss out on.  Celebrations, birthdays, cousins growing up together, grandparents there to spoil the kids, holiday meals, comfort when things happen.  It's all those things we miss out on.

This past Wednesday one of my sisters came to visit me. She flew five thousand seven hundred forty miles to spend time with me.  We had been talking about a sister thing, just the two of us, hanging out, taking Manhattan by storm, laughing, being utterly silly.  We both work hard, we both have children and obligations.  It was hard to carve the time out but we finally did.  My sister arrived this past Wednesday for five days.  Eleven thousand four hundred eighty miles round trip, so we could be together for five days.  It was unbearably, bitterly cold in Manhattan, but that didn't stop us.  We both bundled up, coats, sweaters, gloves and scarves on our heads.  We probably looked like a couple of woman from Odessa with our scarves tied beneath our chins.  It made us laugh to look at each other.  We shoved as much as we could into those five days.  The last night, Shiri, my daughter, came to our hotel to spend the night with us.  The three of us, a slumber party.  By that time the sadness had begun creeping in.  The next morning we had coffee at the Times Warner building where Columbus Circle was covered in beautiful snow and the park was in view.  It was beautiful but by then I began thinking was it all worth it?  Saying goodbye is so hard.  It's so painful and I thought that maybe it would have been better had she not come.  At least then it wouldn't hurt so much.

A few hours later we said goodbye, just like we do everytime.  We hug, squeeze, choke with tears, turn and walk away, not able to speak, either of us.  

This was yesterday and it still hurts.  I know it will get better.  We will get back to our routines, our children, our work, our obligations.  We will call each other to talk about the kids, to wish happy birthdays, happy holidays.  It will get better.  

But it will always be five thousand seven hundred forty miles away. 

Julia  – (January 26, 2011 at 5:17 AM)  

What a lovely post. My sister is flying in (hopefully) today if she can get out of Virginia before the snow hits. Even though we are only 1000 miles apart I still miss her when she leaves and always look forward to being with her again.
Enjoy the memories of your visit.

Anonymous –   – (January 26, 2011 at 4:29 PM)  

I know this feeling Orna, my heart aches for you. Move her closer to you in your heart, feel her presence and see if this helps.

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